Wanting to Want It
Do you ever feel like you’re supposed to be “on fire” or “in the zone” with following Jesus all the time? Like somehow if you go to a church service and can’t muster the ability to sing or you’re sitting alone at home and just can’t read your Bible something is wrong with you? Sometimes it seems like the only one struggling with their faith is you. I know because I’ve been there.
Halfway through college I had a mini-crisis of faith. It was mini because I didn’t totally walk away from my faith, but I did struggle pretty deeply with how real it was. This was a time when I had an utter lack of desire to give my life fully to following Jesus. I went to our Campus Pastor and told him what was going on. He gave me some advice that has stayed with me ever since. He said, “Trevor, I know you don’t want to follow Jesus right now, but do you want to want to?” Sounds a little silly, but it was a powerful moment of clarity for me. I didn’t want to follow Jesus, but I did want to want to. From that realization I was able to pray sincerely that God would give me a burning desire to follow him—a prayer he answered over the next couple years.
If you’re in a place right now where you can’t honestly say you really want to receive your life from Jesus and follow him, then take the words of my Campus Pastor to heart. Ask yourself; do you want to want to receive your life from Jesus and follow him? If so, then pray that God will give you a burning passion to be Jesus’ disciple. Over time God will answer that prayer and help you develop a desire you can only imagine right now.